Friday, September 26, 2014

Again.

I'm trembling, I can see it in my bloody hands.
I'm all shaking
and I can't stop.

My heart is pounding fast as the city clock.
I can hear the walls of it, kicking like in a boxing match,
begging to release.

My breath is slow.
I hug the cold blue air in the sunset to calm me down.

I try to make it go away.

I'm drowning.
Isn't there anything to save me?
Isn't it supposed to go away?
I'm gonna lose it.

I'm sinking in the black sea of self destruction
I'm underwater and I am closer to a black out.

I'm trying to swim but the water drags me in
as my golden rings pull me down
I'm slowly dying.

I lost it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNE-7DyLJ5w

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Damned.

Слушам
момче со тивок плач.
Небаре слушам капки од дожд кои паѓаат флегматично,
олово тешки, калливи, нечисти.
Тоа беше ти.
Држеше проклети, црни пилули во твоите крвави раце.
Дали мислиш дека тие ќе ти ги соберат парчињата стакло,
тие панофобични кристали кои ти ја претставуваат бедата?
Дали свеќата која се топи пополека
ти го одредува времето на твојот патетичен живот?
Дали се прашуваш како се роди во ваква трагедија, беднику?
Ги тониш со тебе и невините.
Ги инфицираш со отровот твој демонски.
Ги водиш во темниот ќош на твоите гревови и искушенија.
Тој ќош ми се обрати на мене.
Ми вели: -Дојди!, со заводлив глас. - Ќе те ослободам од твоите маки.
Но не се осмелив.
Седев и те набљудував.
А темниот ќош ти велеше: - Ќе умреш ко скот! Ќе се удавиш проклетнику! Загуши се од правливите мои мрежи, тоа е се што заслужуваш!
А твојата душа почна да гори, се до зори.
Пилулите в рака ти станаа 'рѓосани, ко и твојата душа.
Твоите коски парализирани, а твоите усни заробени.
И ти остана сам.


Thursday, September 4, 2014

poem

When your world turns yellow, when your clouds rain, when you'll feel colder, I'll be gone.
When you'll feel melancholic, when you'll take your first sip of coffee in the morning, I'll be long gone.
The dreadful hours will pass, our hearts will grow cold, our souls will lose themselves in the autumn, in the crunchy leaves, in the slow wind, under the hanging clouds, becoming one.
You'll walk by like a ghost.
I won't follow you.
I'll follow your hollow, I'll follow the bloody flowers you stepped on.
When you'll be lost, my emptiness will find you.
Be torn, be withered, man.
Stay one with the agony, stay one with me.

Perished. 

I'll hear the echo of your pulse, I'll hear your demons screaming.
I'll be already dead. My limits will be bordered with dark chalk, in my grave, that is deep within my heart, where you belong.

Search for my soul in these ivory sands of pain and lust.

Couldn't we fast forward through this thunder?
Couldn't you wash the muddy waters in your eyes?

You could pierce your soul with my memories.
Leave the scars I did with my broken glass.

This thunder sounds like a war in the sky, where the war gods cry.
And it will rain.
It will create waves of sorrow and tears, and they'll take me with them.
I'll lose the fight with each wave, because of the freedom I'll start to crave.
But there will be no hope, no help, just summoning what is dead and left inside, to battle the tide.

And so I'll pour myself on to this earth and a single wave will crumble.
The tides will settle, the wind will be gone.
Only my sinful soul will remain (in)sane.
And it will be over like a bad dream and you'll be sober.
It will be over.


tor..n and withered mantor
Emptiness
Emptiness
Emptiness
Emptiness
Emptiness